Anyway. Today's confession is inspired by Melissa over at Melissa Nibbles -- her "It's OK!" feature on Fridays never fails to make me laugh, and last week, as I was trying to come up with a better confession than simply, "I Have Bieber Fever" (which isn't really a confession because anyone within 10 yards of me at the gym can hear me muttering "Baby, baby, baby, ohhhhhh..." to myself as I pound out the treadmill), one of her rants really struck home with me, and is the inspiration for today's Confession. So, without further ado:
Forget Meatless Monday; Farewell, Wheatless Wednesday. In my well-earned position as Best Health Blogger EVER, I do hereby confess that I am now instituting the best blogger-dictated-arbitrary-alliterative-food-day-ever:
F**ked Up Fridays!
That's right! Think about it: in honor of your totally self-imposed sacrifices this week, don't you deserve a day to just kick back, relax, and get Effed Up?!
Now, I know what you're thinking: won't this make me fat?!
But have no fear! FUF is ALL ABOUT the fitness. First off, as anyone who has ever been to a frat party knows, hauling around a 30 is HARD WORK. Carry it over your head and do the ol' drop-n-raise to get killer shoulders and triceps. Refine those fine motor skills with an intense game of beirut ("beer pong" to you weirdos who didn't grow up in NH and don't know that beer pong is an entirely different game involving paddles). Get your cardio in with a good ol' fashioned game of dizzy bat or slap the bag, and don't forget to WORK THOSE ABS as you're bent over a bush completing the boot n' rally!
Remember, kids: you can totally multitask and complete your workout while getting your flirt on with the opposite sex. Nothing says, "holla at me" like a good 16oz curl, amIright?!
And just think about the impact on the environment and local business! By buying local beer, wine and/or moonshine, you're supporting all of your neighbors! Drink your sangria out of an overpriced carafe with abandonment sans guilt, because you're supporting the dying art of glassblowing! And don't forget to recycle those bottles and cans, ladies and gents -- that .05 really adds up! It's like Thrifty Thursday a whole day later!
There's no way that you can not participate following those compelling arguments. Now go forth, Ms./Mr. Health-and-lifestyle-blog-reader-girl/guy, and crack open an ice cold adult beverage of choice.
Have a great weekend and GFU!
*Please realize that this is satire and please drink responsibly.
Pardon me girlfriend, but you posted a picture of the tree with mulch around it when I think you meant to post the one with the beer cans planted in it. Love, the guy from the pictures in your blog
ReplyDeleteHaha. Appreciate the NH shoutout. When I am out of NH and people ask me if I play beer pong, I just mutter yes and shake my head.
ReplyDeleteMy most recent "workout of choice" was drinking a whole bottle of 2 Buck Chuck in 20 minutes and swimming in the pool. I moved onto quarters, which is totally an arm AND mind exercise, obviously. Dancing in heels and swinging on the swings in front of the bar is totally legit exercise, no matter what anyone says. :)
Boyfriend, I didn't accidentally do it; I just didn't think it prudent to upload, via the source computer I was using, a photo of a bunch of the beer garden.
ReplyDeleteE - I KNOW, RIGHT?! I was also upset that there are people who apparently don't know how to play quarters, either. What kind of college experience did they have?! Sadness in my heart for them. :(
ReplyDeleteYour workouts sound fab to me! 2 Buck Chuck in twenty minutes?! My, my! You might win the MVP! My FUF included getting a good diaphragmatic workout while screaming choice obscenities at the Canucks, as well as a lot of arm work digging through my dirty laundry in a lost attempt to locate my "Not Cursed" Bruins tshirt.