A Quick Note Re: An Alarming Trend

Greetings from Boston, the muggiest place on Earth!

During my TCE hiatus (I have to use the qualifier because I have been writing elsewhere), I've made it a priority to really think about what draws me to follow a particular blog. In general, I'm more likely to hit "Follow" if a blogger meets the following criteria:

- I know him or her in real life and do not, for the most part, want to stab said person with a pickaxe;
- I can relate to him or her in some way, in that we have at least a few common areas of interest;
- He or she has a firm grasp of grammar as well as of the written English language as a whole.

It's that last one that is most often the dealbreaker -- I have unfollowed more blogs than I can count on the sole basis of a writer's inability to accurately express herself without sounding like a 16 year-old Valley Girl.

Which is why today, I'm writing about people (bloggers, in particular) who, in an attempt to sound either sophisticated or quirky, use phrases without fully understanding what they mean or, in some particularly egregious cases, what they apparently think they mean. Case in point: case in point.

Generally, it's "case in point," not "case and point".
Unless you're hoping to provide your readers with the image of you stalking the perimeter of some unsuspecting citizen's home while pointing out all of their lovely possessions you're going to steal, the phrase you are looking for is "case in point," not "case and point".  While both technically admissible in the Court of Idiom Law, the phrase is "derived from the ancient Anglo-Saxon/French phrase, 'en point,' in which point could variously mean a condition, state, situation or plight" (Source). Basically, this phrase is meant to provide a specific example pertinent to the greater discussion at hand. See above (see what I did there?).

It's "without further ado," not "without further adieu".
In the deepest part of my soul, I wish that I had only seen the latter in a solitary offense. Unfortunately, though, I've now spotted it on a number of blogs and, in the case of one, in several posts ironically calling others out on their written mistakes. Aside from making me want to grab these people by the shoulders and scream, "HAVE YOU NEVER READ SHAKESPEARE?! OR SEEN THE SOUND OF MUSIC?!," this just makes me sad. If this phrase gives you trouble, try to remember it as, "The Bard's classic comedy, Much Ado About Nothing, is about making a big deal over a trivial matter; The Von Trapp children say, 'auf wiederschain adieu' when they don't want to leave the party." Thus, if what you're trying to convey is, "let's stop being blowhards and get to the point already," the word you're searching for is ado.

A wild, unrefined hooligan-type person is a Yahoo, not a "Yahooligan," "Ya-do," "Ya-dude" or "Yay-hoo".
The term "Yahoo" was coined by Sir Jonathan Swift in his satirical masterpiece, Gulliver's Travels. If you think back to high school English class, you may remember the gangly, awkward little beings roaming around the countryside looking for shiny stones -- those were the Yahoos. I'm actually working on a theory that Tolkien based Gollum off of these creatures but haven't had the time to Google it yet so don't steal my intellectual property if it hasn't already been done.  Essentially, this word is used to describe people who lack an understanding of basic decorum, have no self-awareness and are, simply put, bumpkins. Swift's mastery of the English language is undisputed, so do yourself a favor and don't bastardize literary genius.

There you have it: three prime examples of what not to do while writing for the masses (unless, of course, the masses for whom you are writing aren't quite as discerning [read: bitchy] as myself. In which case, carry on). Don't even get me started on the concept of omitting the "-d," which seems to be pervading every aspect of life these days. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY AND SACRED, "Use to" should only be utilized when giving instructions, usually in some kind of manual situation, ie., next to a diagram of a screw, "use to fasten these two pieces of wood together." Under no circumstances (and I do mean NO circumstances) is it appropriate to say, "I use to" as in, "I use to try to pass myself off as a semi-intelligent, sentient being but then people's heads started to explode when they realized that someone gave me an elementary school diploma despite my total and utter lack of understanding of the English language."

I told you not to get me started.

That concludes today's lesson, brought to you by the letter F and number two, with promotional considerations by the Foundation for Crotchety Bitches Who Are Sick Of This Nonsense.