The Boob Tube: Part 1

I'm not sure where all of my readers live, but if your locale is experiencing anything like the weather we're enjoying here in New England, you have my most heartfelt pity.

Despite my massive love of horrible weather, even I draw the line at two solid weeks of gloomy, grey skies and drizzle. A roaring blizzard that dumps three feet of snow in under 48 hours? Sign me up. Yet another morning with the sound of splashing cars and that disgusting "glow" coming through my window? No, thank you.

I've never been the "outdoorsy type" anyway -- there was a time in my youth when my mother literally threatened to "burn my books" if I didn't get my ass outside to play (I informed her that book burning was frowned upon and, if she chose to do so, I would report her to the ACLU for a civil rights infraction. Then I enjoyed a delicious dessert of Dial). Something about being FORCED to be cooped up inside, however, drives me a bit berserk.

Thankfully, there is a saving grace: television.

One might assume that because we don't have cable or internet, we're stuck peering through neighbors' windows in an attempt to catch our weekly shows. However, due to some miracle of science, we actually DO get regular cable if we plug into our wall -- all four major networks, PBS, the CW and enough CatholicTV and Telemundo that I could probably become an honorary member of the Little Sisters of the Dominican if I wanted to.

So, since the rain isn't due to stop until at least Sunday, I thought I'd share my current favorite TV obsessions over the next few days, starting with the shows that I actually watch, WHEN THEY AIR, which is a real rarity. 

These are the shows I actually watch in real time:

Dancing With the Stars 
ABC, Mondays at 8pm

I think we've already established this, but this season, I've been pretty good about tuning in to DWTS, despite never actually following it before. It amazes me that those women can do all those fast moves and elegant turns in heels -- and look good doing it! -- and that the men are so graceful, all while emanating radiant confidence, poise and sex. Team Kirstie all the way, although Chelsea has done a lot to win me over these past few weeks! (Plus, any time we can see Maks sans shirt, I am not one to complain).

Castle 
ABC, Mondays at 10pm

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Move over Maks, because Nathan Fillion is the real sex on a stick. That hair. Those witty quips! The vest that says "Writer!" I love it all. I first tuned in when my former boss told me I'd love it -- it started out with me Netflixing Season 1, and Andrew was good enough to play along and watch with me. I expected it to be just another frivolous cop show: murders! intrigue! weird sexual innuendo! But while Castle is a lighthearted take on its big "police show" cousins, that doesn't make it bad. In fact, the writing is stellar, the cast gels like overnight oats, and Stana Katic and Nathan Fillion (Beckett and Castle, respectively) manage to portray a relationship that sizzles with chemistry yet doesn't leave me ready to throw my shoe through the screen if they don't just get together already (except that one time...but I digress).  

The Office
NBC, Thursdays at 9pm

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I resisted The Office for as long as I possibly could. I dated a real douche for a long time, and since he luuuuurved the hijinks of Dunder Mifflin Paper Co. and Co. sooooo much, I had to hate it on principle.  And then I met Andrew, and when he has downtime, he pops one of three things into the DVD player to relax: The Simpsons, Rocky IV, or The Office. At some point, I realized I was laughing, too -- and knew I was REALLY a fan when I realized that the only character I currently hate more than Jim and Pam is their spawn, CeCe. And maybe Gabe. I really hate Gabe.

30 Rock 
NBC, Thursdays at 10pm

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Simply said, 30 Rock is probably the funniest show no one I know is watching. Tina Fey is a comedic genius, both on-screen and in the writer's room (and I'm not just saying that because I just finished reading Bossypants and at one point had to consider investing in some Depends). The fact that I am at least 50% Liz Lemon nonwithstanding, the ensemble cast is one of the best ever compiled -- Tracy Morgan's "Tracy Jordan" and Alec Baldwin's "Jack Donaghey" alone are worth tuning in. "Kenneth the Page" is my favorite character, though... last season's finale, where he gets fired and goes on a drunken tirade, is my favorite moment: "Kiss my face and I'll see you in heaven!" manages to work its way into my lexicon at least once a week.

Well, there you have it. All four shows that I actually make the time to sit down and watch.  I also watch a lot of sporting events when I get the chance, namely anything having to do with the Bruins for the past two months or so.In the event I cannot get to a bar to watch said games, we have resorted to pretending we live in 1940, and listen to the radio.

Have you ever listened to playoff hockey on the radio?!

If you have any kind of heart issue, I suggest you don't.

Stay tuned!
Up next: Shows I Am At Least a Season Behind On But Watch Anyway