A Few of My Favorite Things: The Cinematic Holiday Edition

First off, I know what you're thinking. Yes, this IS the second post I've written quoting The Sound of Music. And not just the movie... the same song from the movie. What can I say? That tale of optimistic spinsterhood touches my miserly heart. Only Bridget Jones does it better.

Speaking of tales of optimistic spinsterhood, it's that time of year when all of my shows go on hiatus because of holiday specials and family-friendly programming. Personally, I consider Chuck Bass to be Christmas present enough, but apparently there's something about appealing to the family demographic that gets all the major networks foaming at the mouth this time of year. Tomato, tomato, I guess.

My indignation aside, there are a few holiday-themed movies that I've been known to enjoy each and every single year, and I might be guilty of spending 20 minutes any time I'm in the vicinity of a tv with onDemand scouring the listings for the first two movies on this list.

Oh, what's that, rich friend with cable? No, I'll be out of your bedroom in one sec. I thought I....dropped an earring. Under the door. From the hallway. It bounced? Oh, I'm already wearing two earrings? Uh....

Yeah. So anyway, I love a good cheesetacular ABCFamily/Lifetime holiday movie as much as the next girl (the one where Christina Milian falls into the snowglobe? Classic!). But normally, I don't really get into the whole holiday spirit until December 20th. So when I'm bah humbugging my way through early December, these are the four films/specials to which I turn in hopes of setting the holiday mood:

The Holiday

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On a very hungover Saturday, a bunch of my sorority sisters and I were in the middle of our weekly Ruby Tuesday turkey burger-and-salad-bar combo (complete with bacon bits, avocado, buckets of ranch dressing and a healthy dose of forty types of pasta salad. Did I mention I gained 55lbs after I pledged?) when someone suggested we go see the new Jude Law movie. Despite my hatred for all things The Joker Cameron Diaz, I'm not one to turn down a sexy British accent, so I tagged along to see what the fuss was all about. It was love at first viewing. Like a lot of women, I have a huge appreciation for Kate Winslet, both as an actress and as a human being. Her portrayal of a spurned lover is actually my favorite part of the movie; I can't speak for all women, but I know that I see myself in her heartbreak. Throw in Mr. Napkin Head, the idea of Jude as a sexy single father in publishing and shockingly un-annoying performances by Diaz and Jack Black, and you have yourself a holiday winner.

Love Actually

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It seems as though every year, Hollywood decides that what the public really needs is a huge ensemble romcom full of B (and C, and sometimes even D) List stars. I didn't actually see Valentine's Day, mostly because all of my friends who did see it assured me that best thing about it was "Back to December", a result of the all-too-brief Taylor/Taylor romance spawned on the set. I've seen the previews for New Year's Eve and unless some friends and I find ourselves with nothing better to see, I'm pretty sure that one's destined to be a Red Box special, as well. Love Actually, on the other hand, is a classic that I watch again and again, loving it just a little more each and every time. While the plot is totally corny, the A-team of actors that those crazy Brits assembled makes all the difference. Any time I can see Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, Liam Neeson, Emma Thompson and Alan Rickman together, I'm a happy lady. Plus, the whole dancing-down-the-stairs bit with Hugh Grant cracks me up.

A Charlie Brown Christmas

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Twenty-twoish years ago, I was the flower girl in my Aunt and Uncle's wedding. Apparently, I was a real hit at the party; from haughtily telling everyone that I was a professional who had "done this before" to catching the bouquet and roping the maid of honor into standing in for me during the awkward garter dance to decorating the getaway car, everyone seems to have some kind of story about my antics during the reception. Most notably, they remember my dance skillz. Ever the fun relatives, my Aunt and Uncle's wedding song was "Linus and Lucy", and they encouraged all members of the bridal party to join them on the floor to recreate the rehearsal scene from A Charlie Brown Christmas (I chose the side to side skip/head bob). As a grown-up and, more importantly, a perpetual cynic, I love this movie even more. Aside from serving as a reminder each year not to let myself (or my dog) "go commercial" and forget the true meaning of Christmas, those 20 minutes have provided me with my personal ethos, and I quote it on at least a weekly basis. "All I want is what I have coming to me! All I want, is my fair share!" probably echoes through Andrew's head in his sleep. Oh well.

Last, but most certainly not least,

Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol

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I know, I know -- almost no one has heard of, let alone seen, this movie, but let me assure you that it is a true holiday staple in my house. Based on the classic Dickens novella, it truly does the spirit of the story justice. Not a year has gone by that I have gone to bed on Christmas Eve without first viewing it with my Dad. Passed down from HIS dad, our appreciation of this particular special is apparently incomprehensible to "outsiders," aka Andrew and my stepmom. But without fail, Dad and I watch and laugh and smile together, singing along with the mournful tones of "A Hand For Each Hand" and shrieking our way through "The Plunderers' March" (this year, I might just bring flower petals). You can keep your Muppets, your Simpsons and your Jim Carrey; I'll take that crazy old animated coot Mr. Magoo and his Broadway play every time. With EXTRA razzleberry dressing.

Do you buy in to the whole holiday movie thing? If so, which is your favorite? And most importantly, have you seen Mr. Magoo?

Friday Confessional: Sugar and Spice

I was originally planning to share the deets of why my blissful vacation on the Vineyard turned into a chaotic, mournful and ultimately bonding experience, but then I realized that it's not really my story to tell, and so I shan't. Suffice to say, I had three glorious days on Martha's Vineyard with my aunts and uncles, including two glorious beach days, and my boss promised that I can take a few extra vacation days this summer to make up for the part I missed. I might take a little venture to the Texas part of America in August to visit one of my bffs, CRo, and to attend a CERTAIN little princess' very first birthday party!

Anyway....


Ok, let's cut to the chase. It's Friday. On Fridays, we wear pink confess our deepest, darkest, most embarrassing thoughts, obsessions and musings. 

So, without further ado, I do hereby solemnly confess:

I've got a case of the HGCs.

I remember one night during the second semester of my junior year of college (a feat in and of itself, actually), sitting on a fraternity futon with a bunch of my sorority sisters and pregaming for the evening's events (random factoid for you GDIs: you actually aren't allowed to drink in a sorority house. In some states, it's because a house with a certain amount of women living in it and with booze available is considered a brothel. But really, we just like to keep our floors from getting sticky. That's why God invented fraternities) . As we sat there, giggling about girl stuff and driving the boys men of PMD crazy, the tv was blaring in the background. When our generous host for the evening remarked on how hot the Pussycat Dolls were ("Dontcha" had just come out. I know, I know. I'm old.), one of my friends began to nod vigorously in agreement. "Totally," she squealed, "Nicole Scherzinger is totally my  heterosexual girl crush!" It was a term I'd never heard before.

And I loved it.

These days, it seems like there's girl-on-girl hatred everywhere. There are so many awe-inspiring women out there in the world, and instead of focusing on them and building ourselves up to be like them, we'd rather rip through US Weekly and cattily trash the latest Bachelorette or Britney's weave. Why is that?!? Especially since you know that we ALL have ladies that we admire, whether it be for their rad writing skillz, their ability to bounce back from criticism or their hair color.

And so, I now present to you the first installment of my very own, heterosexual girl crushes:


Katy Perry

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There are a lot of reasons why I love Katy Perry, but the most important one is that she is hilarious on Twitter. And I assume she swears like a sailor, so there's that, too. Oh, and she's gorgeous. It seems fitting that she kick off this list of HGCs, too, as we all know that one time, she kissed a girl (and she liked it!).

Jen Lancaster

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I can't even begin to describe the amount of laughter that JLan has brought me at inappropriate times, but suffice to say that no one else has ever made me almost pee my pants on a city bus. I kind of assume that if I were ever to run into her on the street, I would say something horribly awkward and stupid, which she would totally understand and laugh off, and then we would both blow off food shopping to go indulge in Scorpion Bowls and heckle innocent passersby and become BFF4Ls. Seriously, though, if you haven't read Bitter is the New Black or Such a Pretty Fat, haul your ass to the nearest Barnes and Noble... RUN, don't walk. Then you, too, can partake in mine and Katie's drunk-text-love-fest for this fantastic, hilarious writer.


Kate Middleton

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Two words: The. Hair.

Amy Adams

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My HGC on Amy began with Julie and Julia. Her portrayal of a frustrated administrative assistant-cum-blogger really drew me in and made me relate to the character of Julie in a way I wasn't expecting. I'd blogged back in the day (Come on; who DIDN'T have an LJ and or Xanga?), but J&J was a driving force behind the creation of this little experiment you're reading. Of course, I also loved her in Leap Year (So cute!) and if you try to say you didn't love her just a little bit more after the scene in The Fighter when she takes on all of the Ward sisters on the porch, you're a liar. Plus, Girlfran can SING, too!

Kirstie Alley

Given that it's still my second-most popular post to date, I think we all know this fact: Kirstie is mah' GIRL. She's got sass, style and spunk -- all traits that I greatly admire. Whenever I think of the phrase, "haters gon' hate," I think of all the nastiness she had to endure during her time on DWTS, how much that had to have hurt and, most importantly, how she said to hell with all of those critics and did her best to prove them wrong each and every week. Despite a few stumbles here or there in her life and career, she always manages to pull herself back up, dust herself off and throw herself 110% back into the game. I dig that.


Michelle Obama

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I purposely avoid politics on the blog, but for Michelle, I shall make an exception. First of all, she's Princeton (and Harvard, but who cares) educated. It's a little-known fact, but there was a time in my life when I was courted by Princeton and my ultimate academic goal was to get in there. Sure, it might have been in 8th grade, but the fact remains that they once wanted me, and I still look really good in orange. Her education aside, Michelle is SO DAMN STRONG -- and I'm not just referring to her killer pipes, either. I agree that childhood obesity is a major issue in this country, I love that she grew a garden at the White House, and regardless of your political beliefs, she's providing support to the leader of the free world. That's impressive.

Anne of Green Gables

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Ok, so she's fictional. Big deal. I've already professed my love for a bunch of literary hunks, so I see no problem in the fact that I have a bit of tiny massive HGC on Ms. Anne-with-an-E Shirley of Green Gables, Avonlea, both the literary and cinematic versions. If you couldn't tell from the quotation at the top of the page, I have a lot in common with Anne. We're both gingers. We both possess a limited verbal filter. We both enjoy dramatic interpretations of Tennyson's "The Lady of Shalott". And we both really, really enjoy getting our friends accidentally drunk on raspberry cordial. We're truly kindred spirits and, were she real, I imagine we would be bosom friends.

So, there you have it. Of course, I have many more HGCs -- at LEAST enough famous ones to fill up another post. Plus, there are my HGC bloggers, and my IRL HGC friends and acquaintances. So now I urge you, readers, to contemplate your own Girl Crushes (the H is optional; I happen to like dudes but whatever floats your boat!). Let the Lady Love flow!


So, tell me: Who are YOUR girl crushes?? Why??

Friday Confessional: "Hit it or Quit it, Bro"

Given yesterday's surprise Thursday Confession, you won't be surprised at all to know that today, I do solemnly confess:

Hell, Yes.

I love this picture enough to use it twice.

I DID Wake Up and Watch.

Most importantly, I LOVED the dress. One of my best friends went with lace, and to be honest, my eyes kept bugging out when she'd send me possible dresses. But the one she found was GORGEOUS, and she looked stunning -- and I think Kate did, too.

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Am I the only one who:

-Started humming, "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?" while Kate was making that epic journey down the aisle? And by "humming" I obviously mean "texting the lyrics to my aunt, who was texting the next line back to me, etc.". I was half expecting a little child to be swinging from the bell tower as they left the Abbey.

-Played the, "what did Harry whisper to Wills" game? My bet is on my friend Susan's theory, which is, "Hit it or quit it, bro." Send other hilarious lines my way!

-Took her inspiration while dressing today from the Royals? Puffed-sleeve button-down? Check! Loose curls, rather than flat-ironing this normally untamed beast? Check! Jeweled headband holding back half my hair? Check! Oh well. At least I left the tiara in my purse at home.

Yes, my hair naturally does that if I put it in a bun for 10 minutes after blow drying.

-Is taking bets on Harry and Pippa engaging in some stereotypical best man/maid of honor drunken hookups? Because please, did you see them up on that balcony? I put the over/under on 6 shots before the toast at the "young people's dinner party".

-Choked on her coffee when one of the ABC commentators described Beatrice and Eugenie's getups as "Ugly Stepsister?" Think the Brandy version of Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella, now picture them singing... "Why would a fellow want a girl like her..." (and yes, they're Wills' cousins, but you know what they say about those Royals....)

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-Thought the kisses, both first AND second, were totally appropriate for the occasion, yet still secretly hoped that the two of them would buck tradition and just make out like high schoolers??

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Andrew was a sport from the time I woke him up for work at 6:15 until he left for work. Impressively, he only had one "Don't tread on me!" moment, along with belting out, "My country, 'tis of thee", to "God Save the Queen" as loud as he could in our paper-thin-walled apartment building at 6:30am. He then informed me that if we get married, he and his brother will lead a rousing rendition of the national anthem from the alter. Unfortunately, knowing the two of them, I don't doubt they'll follow through.

On the plus side, though, during our text-convo, my Aunt assured me that I can have bugles and timpani at my wedding. Unfortunately, though, she had to nix my request for a flyover.

UNLESS, of course, I manage to time it perfectly with Opening Day...

Also, it became clear to me that I'm definitely ready for my Confirmation tonight, for two reasons. 1) When the minister raised his hands, I definitely expected him to belt out an "In the name of the Father...."; and 2) I found myself wondering why the actual wedding ceremony was going so quickly. You mean it DOESN'T take everyone an hour to get their vows said?!

Alas, as much as I want to just sit in front of a TV and the internet all day gawking at All Things Royal, I unfortunately have actual work to do, and then have to go home to get ready and apply three pounds of concealer under my eyes so that my children don't see photos of me later in life and wonder why a zombie was present. In the meantime, though...

CONGRATULATIONS, WILLIAM AND KATE! And thanks for bringing the world a bit of happiness amidst the horrors and devastation of everyday life.